So here I am. Yet another struggling and terrified, but hopeful young person desperate to escape from her toxic family and move on and out to a new life and get help.
And of course escaping and getting help takes money.
I’ve seen so many posts out there by people like me. Abusive, homophobic parents, mental illnesses, 0% parental support… We’ve all seen them. And we help those people out, if not by simply signal boosting their call for help so those who do have the ability to assist them can.
So here I am. This is my call for help.
I have the ability to create music on the violin (both classical and electric) from nothing. Improvising songs based on stories, words, and emotions. I operate an Etsy shop, where I have posted the chance to purchase personalized, unique music that is tailored specifically to your requests. Give me a word, an emotion, a story, even the story of your life, and I will create on your choice of the electric or classical violin a piece of music specially for you.
I would be forever grateful if you would help me escape my toxic family and help me get away and get help for my problems by buying a song. So here is the link to my Etsy Shop:
Thank you so much!!
DISNEY HAVE STOLEN MY ARTWORK
I don’t know what to do. I am so upset. Can anyone help me?
My painting was created back in 2010, (see it HERE) and since then so many people have expressed their love for it, not just on tumblr, but in many places. At least 9 people had it tattooed on their bodies. It’s one of my favourite images I created at University and I was proud of it in many ways.
I’m so mad because I have no chance at getting Disney to do anything about it. I had so much respect for the company and now I am just SO upset and disappointed.
Any help, advice or signal boosting would be amazing. And thank you so much to the kind person who messaged me about this.
This is really sad.
Look at the bag. It is the EXACT drawing. This is terrible. For the company responsible for a lot of current copyright law to do this - wow.
Please signal boost. Literally the only thing someone can do against Disney’s stealing someone’s work. Without all the lawyers.
This is so sad. :(
Signal Boost…DISNEY! One of your designers stole this and no one noticed. Please give Katie a fair (7%) royalty WITHOUT going through the unnecessary hassle of a law suit…THANK YOU! That would be the only way to prove to me that you don’t suck.
Well, first, watch this, all the way to the end.
Okay, so. I’m not just saying that gay rights are a civil rights issue, though I believe them to be. I’m saying you don’t have to abandon your morals, but you do have to accept that “morals” are not static and never-changing, either on an individual or on a social level. There have been times when Christianity forbid the reading of the Bible by anyone but priests (“( We prohibit also that the laity should be permitted to have the books of the Old or New Testament; unless anyone from motive of devotion should wish to have the Psalter or the Breviary for divine offices or the hours of the blessed Virgin; but we most strictly forbid their having any translation of these books.” — Council of Toulouse, 1229) That’s something we would regard as unthinkable now, in the same way that the vast majority of Christians would regard the idea that their religion expressly insisted on the segregation of the races as unthinkable now — yet, as clearly shown in the video above, it was once considered a moral value and even an intrinsic part of faith by some Christians.
You ask me how I deal with my religious values when writing LGBTQ characters (though I have not written a trans character as of yet, I very much wish to.) In doing so you express an opinion I see a lot and which I find interesting: that there isn’t a faith or a way of being brought up in faith that would mean that there is no conflict between staying true to my morals and writing LGBQ characters. And yet that is the case for me. I don’t have the conflict you have, though I am trying to be sympathetic to it. I was brought up to believe gay rights were a civil rights issue from the time I was born. My grandparents had gay friends, marched for gay rights, so did my parents. I am named for my mother’s best friend, who is gay. My best friend is bisexual. My cousin is FTM trans. I spent my whole life brought up to believe that representing gay and lesbian and bisexual characters in arts and media was a value and to not do it would be against not just my moral values but also my family’s. (I may not always do the greatest job, but I believe it to be a value to try.)
I find this a lot in the negative emails I get about Magnus and Alec, Aline and Helen, the writers of them usually express their outrage about having their morals violated by the existence of gay characters in fiction (most of them believe that books should be labeled to warn that there will be gay characters in them, which is part of why I don’t believe in warning labels on books no matter what the content you object to or how upsetting you find it) and their assumptions as to why I “put gay characters in” which all boil down to:
1) “Shock value.” Because what works oh so well for writers is pointlessly shocking the hell out of their readers? That might work for one book, but it doesn’t work for a series, and it certainly doesn’t work to indicate to readers that you’re a writer they can trust. To get any mileage out of “shock value” you have to write something so shocking that it gets you on TV and even then, it does nothing but make you a sideshow attraction and boost the sales of one book. It doesn’t build a readership. So no.
2) Including raunchy sexy stuff ups sales, so I am doing it for money! Only there are two problems there. 1) Sexy stuff in YA doesn’t up your sales. Look at the big bestselling series and by and large they are sex-free and fairly chaste. Including sexy stuff mostly gets you banned. Including gay characters definitely will. 2) More importantly, I do not, and never will, equate sexual orientation with sexual content. In fact, when I see “a character is gay” included under the “sexual content” section of those parental watchdog sites about books — sites that ostensibly warn parents about content in books that might be troubling for their child — it makes me absolutely furious. I don’t question the right of parents to determine for themselves according to their own values and outlook what their child reads but being gay is not a sexual act, any more than me wandering around being straight is a sexual act. The only reason it’s lumped in under “sexual content” is because otherwise you’d have to create a “will alarm homophobes” section and well, that looks bad.
3) I must be gay. I don’t care if they think I’m gay, but it does speak to an idea that the only people who could possibly want to read or write about gay people must also be gay. It is a sort of explicit dis-acknowledgement that chances are that even if you aren’t gay, you know/love someone who is, or just are, I don’t know, interested in reading about how people actually are rather than a version of the world in which people are erased for not being the default color or sexual orientation or religion or whatever else. As though humans are not capable of sympathy for people who are different from them, when that sympathy is I think essential to being moral, and sympathy begins in understanding. It begins in putting yourself in the shoes of someone different than you, which is part and parcel the purpose of fiction.
There is more, but these strange, involved explanations for why I do what I do come, I believe, from people not able to understand that to me, there is no conflict between my morals and values and including gay and lesbian relationships (not just characters — a gay character who has no on-page relationship is a character whose romantic life is a shadow life: not normative, but hidden) in my fiction. Including gay and lesbian characters and relationships is part of my values. I would feel I was abandoning my morals if I didn’t do it even though it may mean damaging my sales.
To return to addressing the original letter: I think it sounds like you are finding yourself in a place where you are beginning to question aspects of what you have been taught. That is a good thing, and does not make you a bad Christian or person of faith. There are many Christians who have examined their faith and found that it does not in fact conflict with believing that being gay is not a sin, and that gay rights are a value. Befriend those folks, and find out where they are coming from.
Faith evolves as the world evolves and changes. You speak a lot in your email about your upbringing and what you’ve been taught, but much less about what you yourself believe. There comes a time for all of us where we stop and ask if what we’ve been taught to believe is what’s right for us. It’s not a rejection or a hatred of your family and their faith, or of the good things that faith has done for you, to begin to question. Some of the best and most beautiful writing we have on faith comes from those who have struggled with theirs — Saint Augustine, St. John of the Cross, even John Milton — you examine what you have been taught and from that examination grows your faith. We are all imperfect people, interpreting our faith to the best of our ability. Where what we have been taught bumps up against what we feel to be right (as it seems to be the case for you, here) — that is when what is our faith is born, as opposed to “what we have been taught.” That is the dark night of the soul, and that engagement should in the end, bring you closer to God — whatever God is, or means, for you.
Examining your faith and coming to terms with the beliefs that fit your heart can be a lengthy process. Your deciding that you desire not to exclude people when you write is a great start at being a thoughtful writer who gives serious consideration to telling the truest possible stories. However, if you examine your faith and you decide that gay people are sinners, or imperfect for being gay, then you are doing no one any favors by forcing yourself to write about them anyway since that is an exclusionary portrayal. I hope that that is not what happens, and I wish you the best of luck.
This post is kind of incredible -mj
So, I was re-reading the Phantom Tollbooth, and I got to the part with Officer Shrift, and he sentences the main characters to six million years in the dungeon, and I started reading it Lemongrab’s voice, and it made it six million times better. Also: King Azaz the Unabridged…
HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF DURING A BAD BODY IMAGE DAY:
1. Recognize that fat isn’t a feeling.
There are always underlying emotions that we attach to feeling fat. When the “I feel fat” thoughts start up, try to identify what you’re feeling underneath the body dissatisfaction. Are you feeling lonely? Anxious? Invisible? Scared? Ashamed? Inadequate? Whatever the feelings are recognize that they are separate from your body.
2. Treat yourself as you would a friend.
Because it’s difficult to be kind to ourselves in the moment when the body hating thoughts take over, try responding to your thoughts as if you were supporting a friend. What would you say to someone you loved who was battling your same struggle with body image?
You wouldn’t tell them to not eat for the day in order to compensate for what they ate the previous night. You wouldn’t tell them to punish themselves for their body size through over-exercise, self-harm, or abusive eating habits. You wouldn’t tell them they were worthless or unloveable because of their weight. So why do you tell yourself these things? Break the cycle and start treating yourself like a friend—you deserve that kindness and love from everyone, especially yourself.
3. Recognize that you are so much more than the size of your body.
What you look like does not define you. It doesn’t discount your worth as a human being. You are so much more than a number on the scale. As a living, breathing, feeling human being you have inherent value. You are special and important and loved. You exist and therefore you matter.
Your appearance is such a small part of who you are, and it certainly doesn’t warrant enough power to discount the person you are inside. You aren’t your body or your weight—you are your goals and dreams and passions and values. You are your strengths and talents and insight. You are a soul and a spirit and a force of nature. Your body does not define you.
4. Shift your focus from the external to the internal.
Make a list of all the people you look up to and are inspired by—not because of their weight or appearance, but because of who they are and what they do. Write out all the qualities they have that make you appreciate and value them.
Use the list as a reminder that it’s the internal things—our dreams and passions and goals and morals and insight and character—that truly define who we are and draw people to us; not how we look.
You are no exception to this. Try making your own list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance or body size. If you have a difficult time creating one, ask some friends and family to help you.
5. Think about what you want to be remembered for after you die.
I don’t want people to remember me for what I looked like, what size jeans I wore, or what I weighed. I want to be remembered for the person I am. I want to be remembered as someone who brought about positive change in the world. I want to be remembered as loving friend, partner, and family member. I want to be remembered for my passions and my creativity and my strength. I want to be remembered as someone who made a difference. What do you want your legacy to be? Chances are, it doesn’t have to do with weight.
6. Instead of focusing on the size of your body, start focusing on what your body allows you to do.
The human body is an incredible force. When we get caught up in the number on the scale and size of clothes however, we forget just how lucky we are to have a fully functioning vehicle to engage in life with. So stop hating your body for the way it looks and start acknowledging and appreciating your body for all that it allows you to do.
Make a list of each activity and feat your body helps you to partake in and accomplish. If you want to be even more specific, list out each body part and describe all the things you wouldn’t be able to do without it. Your body is strong, powerful, and beautiful, regardless of it’s size. Choose to treat it with love, compassion, and gratitude instead of hate and judgement.
7. Challenge your negative thoughts.
You may not be able to change the way you feel about your body today, tomorrow, or a month from now, but you can begin the process by challenging the thoughts in the moment. Write out a dialogue between your negative voice and a healthy voice. If you have a hard time coming up with positive counters to the negative thoughts, pretend that you are speaking positively about a friend or loved one.
Even if you don’t believe the things you say to counter the voice, it’s still important to speak out against it, because each time you argue with the thoughts, you are taking away some of their power and reclaiming your own. The more you challenge the thoughts, the less you will believe them. The more you argue back, the easier fighting the voice will become.
8. Allow yourself to feel your feelings.
There is a lot of built up energy and emotion underlying the way we feel about our bodies. Holding in how we feel or engaging in behaviors to numb out may make us feel better in the moment, but in the long run, it doesn’t remedy the pain we feel. It doesn’t make us feel better and it keeps us stuck.
Releasing the energy and painful emotions underlying our body shame requires us to feel our feelings. Whether that means throwing a tantrum on the floor, venting to a friend on the phone, punching a pillow, screaming in your car, or crying in bed, you need to allow yourself to feel your feelings. Let go of the judgement you have about what you feel and recognize that you are feeling these things for a reason. Give yourself permission to release your emotions and let everything out.
9. Do self care.
When you’re struggling with body image, distract yourself with healthy coping mechanisms. Take a bubble bath, get a message, ask for a back scratch, cuddle with a pet, make plans with a supportive friend, watch your favorite movie, get a manicure, listening to calming music, do deep breathing—whatever it is, make sure it’s something self-soothing and helps you get out of your head.
10. Be kind with yourself.
You may not be able to control the way you feel about your body, but you can control what you do in response to how you feel.
Instead of beating yourself up, you can choose to treat yourself with compassion. Instead of engaging in unhealthy and abusive behaviors, you can choose to do self-care. Instead of treating your body as an enemy, you can choose to treat it as a friend. Instead of isolating yourself, you can choose to reach out for support and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel loved and accepted. Instead of agreeing with the negative thoughts, you can choose to challenge them.
***You have more power than you think—don’t let the way you feel about your body keep you from living.
Coping with bad body image days may not be easy, but it is possible.
Don’t give up.
You aren’t alone.
Things can and will get better.
TODAY I LEARNT SOME HAPPY ANIMAL FACTS IM SO SMILEY I WANT TO SHARE THEM
- COW HAVE BEST FRIENDS
- a group of flamingos is called a FLAMBOYANCE
- penguins only have one mate and they “propose” BY GIVING THEM A PEBBLE
- OTTERS SLEEP HOLDING HANDS SO THEY DONT FLOAT AWAY FROM EACH…
I made a thing.
I’m going to keep this as simple as possible: I need your help.
Yes, you, right there in front of the screen. Your help.
Do you love books? If your answer was “Yes!” (allowing for varying levels of enthusiasm), you should keep reading. If your answer was “No,” you should still keep reading.
The abbreviated version:
- I’m a University student, and this is my dissertation.
- I love fandoms, and if you do too, you should keep reading.
- Like books? You should keep reading.
- Talk to fandom friends online? Yep, keep reading.
- Have a minute to answer 6 very simple questions, thereby helping me with a huge part of my degree, while making your fandom proud? Definitely keep reading.
Any and all fandoms welcome. Every single member of any fandom. We love everyone here.
I promise, it’s all fun. No serious or personal questions, and it’s all anonymous. You’ll be done in two minutes. Help me show how amazing fandoms truly are.
Click through for more information on the project. You have until the 6th March, 2013.